New places.

     Two days ago, I made the drive up to Connecticut from North Carolina for my ten week long internship. Honestly, the drive wasn't so bad because I had my husband along for the company and to drive through the crazy parts. We ran into crazy amounts of traffic (hello, sitting in NYC for 2 hours- and Philly, I'm looking at you as well), and overall the drive took us 14.5 hours. Unfortunately my main squeeze had to leave yesterday. Throughout the entire drive to the airport we were chatting and laughing, and I honestly felt okay with things. Once we got to the airport, however, the tears started flowing. I was literally a waterfall. Usually I can tell when these messy cries are coming, but this one hit me like a wall. We have done the long distance deal before throughout college, but never for 10 weeks straight, or with me in a new place (and no friends to keep me company).

I am staying about 25 miles away from where I'll be interning at a house of an employee with the hospital. My house host is wonderful. She's very friendly, talkative, and social. All things that definitely help to break me out of my shell. Saturday we went out to a great dinner at a place right on the CT river. Very beautiful.

Today has been a horse of a different color. Loneliness is starting to set in for sure. I have no friends, husband, or family here to make my days feel more comfortable. I know friends will come with time, but new beginnings are always hard. Today is the day of feeling unsure. I'm asking myself questions like, "Why did I take an internship so far away?", "Did I make the wrong decision?", etc. It's a slippery slope to think that way, I know, but it is tough to not allow yourself to think those things. As many of you know, I am typically very shy when I first meet people. It is hard for me to be myself. It may sound silly, but that's just how I've always been. Because of this, I am worried that things will be awkward, or that I may never get to the point of being 100 percent myself. I told Matt on the way up here that I was planning on trying the "fake it till you make it" tactic. Where I will try not to let my shyness get in the way and pretend I am an outgoing person, and also to force enthusiasm for the weeks to come. I love my career choice, that's the honest truth. I'm just not thrilled to be 600 miles away from home while I do it. I'm desperately hoping that things will get better and easier as time goes by. I have to keep reminding myself that this is just the beginning and that sometimes the beginning can be the hardest part.

Constant changes.

     Remember a while ago when I wrote about life's constant changes? Well, true to form, life has thrown my family another curve ball. Recently I took a hiatus from Facebook (some of you may or may not have noticed). The reason for this being that I honestly was getting so fed up with the little, tiny bits of drama that people felt the need to share on a daily basis. Not only that, the arguments and such that were being shared were so ridiculous and infuriating that I found myself in a terrible mood every time I got on.
       A few days after I started noticing how upset I was getting over Facebook, Facebook!, I found out that my Dad (and best friend) had been diagnosed with an Acoustic Neuroma (or, in the medical world- Vestibular Schwannoma).  I know this may sound like a bunch of jargon to you all, and trust me- it was to me at first too. Basically an Acoustic Neuroma is a brain tumor that sits on the nerve that connects the ear to the brain. It severely impacts hearing in the affected ear and also affects balance. The tumor is usually benign and is slow-growing. It is also a fairly rare diagnosis with only approximately 2,000-3,000 cases diagnosed per year.
     I am breaking all of this down medically because, honestly, it's the only way I can really handle all of it right now. My reaction is to research, research, research. He is planning on having surgery and will require a fairly long amount of recovery time to compensate for balance issues and possible total loss of hearing. As many of you know, this is going to be an especially difficult road for someone who has total vision loss. His use of hearing and balance is vital in his daily life. I don't exactly know how to begin to express the mix of feelings I am experiencing, and the worry that all of my family is experiencing. I do know that my Dad will fight through this and is, and always has been, one of the strongest individuals I have ever known. I'm not typically an over-sharer when it comes to things like this. I had thoughts of spilling all of my heart out via blog post, but honestly, I just really don't have the words right now. I appreciate any and all good thoughts, prayers, words of support, and love that you all may share, and just know that even if you don't have the right words- it does help to know that you are there for us. I have received more kind words recently than I can ever remember and it truly has helped. Thank you all for being there, and thanks for letting me spill out all of my crazy emotions with you. I know that this post may not seem super personal to many of you, but it has taken weeks for me to work up the courage to write this.


Also, I don't have the heart to read back over this post for grammatical errors and mistakes, so please forgive me if there are any (which, let's be honest, I'm sure there are plenty of errors with commas as I am the reigning terrible-comma-using-queen).

With so much love,
Jennie

I'm alive!

Can we all shout out a big "hip-hip-hooray!" that my computer is still lounging in the my lap of luxury! 

I got it back from the Geek Squad quite a while ago, but simply have not had the spare time to string together a coherent set of words for you fine friends to read. I have definitely entered the crazy throes of the semester, and projects/papers galore are looming ahead of me. It's not a pretty place, I tell ya. 

So, in keeping with my scattered lifestyle, I will now provide a scattered line of thoughts that spontaneously corrupt from my brain: 

I am so happy that the Giants won the Superbowl! Woohoo! This saves me from an extended mourning period within the Duff family. Peace and happiness has been restored. 

I just discovered the deliciousness that is the Odwalla protein "shake". It literally tastes like I am drinking a Yoohoo, and honestly, who doesn't love that. 

A very exciting possibility has begun to happen on the school front. I promise to give details as soon as I am sure this thing is 100% real :)

I have no chicken in my house right now. I'm not sure this has ever happened as this is really the only type of meat I eat for dinners. I'm not sure what to think about this. I am also not sure what I will be having for dinner. 

Did you just hear my stomach growl? 

Speaking of stomachs, I hope that everyone is staying healthy and far, far away from this nasty Norovirus mess that is going around. 

I've recently discovered a new word that I find absolutely disgusting. Some of you reading this may know that I have self- diagnosed myself with verbal defensiveness (this is similar to tactile defensiveness where people have a severe aversion to specific types of touch). I will not write the new word on this page, nor will I write any of the words I despise, but rest assured- I am aware of my weirdness on this matter. 

Well, now that I've gotten that bit of over-sharing out of my system, hopefully I can return soon to our regularly scheduled programming. 

Lots of love,

J-dub

For the time being.

Oh, friends. Never, ever take anything for granted. My wonderful, amazing computer crashed and died on me yesterday. My life was on that computer (and apparently for the small, small fee of $175 BestBuy can get all that back for you).

She lived a good, long(ish) life. Born in 2006, she certainly got her fair share of miles.
I'm planning a memorial service soon.
... in lieu of flowers, please send money to the "buy Jennie a new mac" fund.

I had big plans to post the red velvet cupcake recipe, but alas, I can no longer do that. So things are on hold here for a bit. I am hoping to get a new computer next week.

Let this be a (big) lesson. Do NOT procrastinate on buying an external hard drive. Don't be like me.

Don't despair, I'll be back, I promise! You just might have to live on blogs without pictures for a bit.

Side note, why are macs so expensive? I am a loyal friend. Long time supporter. Why must they drain my bank account?  No good, Apple. NO GOOD!

Day Trip # 1

I am off and running on the Day Zero Project! On the 9th, Matt and I took a quick day trip to downtown New Bern to visit the birthplace of Pepsi-Cola! Neither of us had visited downtown New Bern before, and I have to say, it is really a cute place! It's not especially large, which I like. It's just a simple, cute downtown filled with lots of quaint stores and historic sites (like the birthplace of Pepsi-duh!)

Unfortunately it was really cold and rainy, but gosh darnit we were determined to get ourselves a Pepsi float from the original Pepsi site!

Turns out, Pepsi was created in a pharmacy and was originally called "Brad's Drink"- named after the guy who created it, Caleb Bradham.

The store was filled with cute, little "Pepsi" trinkets. I loved these salt and pepper shakers!

Lots of these vintage-style signs.

We really loved all of the old Pepsi bottles they had on display (There were tons of different Pepsi glasses from around the world, too!). It was neat to see how the Pepsi look evolved throughout the years.

The style of writing on the bottle on the left was fantastic! I wish they would bring that back.

The original Pepsi formula. Look at all that sugar! There was a sign in the store advertising Pepsi-Cola as delicious, and nutritious! Bahaha.

After getting our fill of Pepsi history, we finally sat and enjoyed our Pepsi float. So delicious!

I wish we could have stayed and explored more of downtown, but it was freezing! We were ready to get our homebody selves back to our comfy, heated home. We'll definitely be taking another day trip to really discover all the downtown New Bern has to offer.

So, now that I've completed a few things, I've updated the Day Zero Project page with my recent activities. I feel like I've already started making a dent in this hefty list! Can I get a woot, woot??
... Hello?
... Anyone?

- I'll be back soon to post about movie watching adventures with Matt, as well as a post about the fabulous red velvet cupcakes I made! Mmmm. In fact, I think I may go eat one of those now.

New project!

I promised an exciting new project, so here I am to deliver!

During my break from school I have had so much free time, I honestly don't know what to do with it. I can't decide if being bored is better than being stressed and busy or not. Earlier this week I was browsing the internet and I came across this project idea. After reading more about it, I decided that it looked so neat that I couldn't pass it up.

The Day Zero Project is basically a list of 101 goals that you come up with to complete within the next 1001 days (1001 days works out to be approximately 2.75 years). I LOVE that this gives you a realistic amount of time to complete your list of goals. It's not a the typical "year" and allows you a longer period of time to really set up some great and sensible ideas/tasks for the future. You can do any type of goals you want- big goals, small goals, in between goals- no discrimination on the type of goals you want to set!

The catch? All of your goals need to be measurable. As the project explains, you can't use ambiguous wording like "lose weight". If losing weight is one of your goals, it's best to specify how much weight you want to lose- that way you are more likely to set a realistic goal and be able to better track your progress.

I am so excited to start this project! But let me tell 'ya-  a list of a 101 things is a lot! It took me so long to come up with all those different goals! I was seriously struggling towards the end there!

You can see the list of all my personal 101 goals on my Day Zero Project Page. I'll be updating and (hopefully) crossing things off as they happen! I really feel like this will be a great way to fulfill the next 1001 days with fun projects, trips, and important responsibilities, and help me keep track of all that I've completed! Everyone loves to set goals for themselves and then check those goals off their list, so I can't wait to start crossing those babies off!

Has anyone else heard of the Day Zero Project? If not, I challenge you to start one of your own! We can do it together! DO IT!
... No pressure.

 :)

Quick fix

This is a life lesson for me:

* Things don't have to be perfect * 

I sometimes (okay, most of the time) have trouble remembering this. My friends and family would not hesitate to use the word "perfectionist" to describe me. I'd like to think of myself as simply thorough.

.... Please stop laughing at your computers. I can hear you.

Which brings me to my latest project. When husby and I bought our bedroom furniture we found it off of a yard sale website and bought it from a wonderful woman who lived one town over. She was a single mom with 4 children living in what looked like a one bedroom house, and they were obviously a little down on their luck. She and her family were some of the nicest, most polite, and hopeful people we have ever met. The set was in very good condition and she even dropped the price over a hundred dollars for us. We called her before we even got home and said we would take it. This set is perfect for us, and just needed a little cosmetic work (some of the drawers had come off their tracks- which my main squeeze fixed fairly easily). The set also has quite a few scratches in the finish due to regular wear and tear from the original owners. 

This is where I come in. We have lived with the scratches for a while now, and honestly, I just couldn't take it anymore. They were starting to stare at me.

(This one just shows the general roughness- the scratches really aren't all that noticeable with the exception of the first picture)

So I took the easiest route possible. I grabbed a sharpie and started filling those suckers in! It did take some time- probably just over an hour to do our two dressers (still need to finish the headboard and night stand), but the end result is pretty great! 

This picture is of the major crack in the finish. This is literally the only section where I can still see the scratch in the finish, but at least I was able to cover the light wood showing through.

See, no more scratches or bump marks showing through:

Needless to say, it certainly is not the most glamorous fix, but it definitely got the job done! The end result is a smooth, flush, and completely finished look. Now I can relax in my room in peace again. Has anyone else done any quick fixes recently? Got any good stories of super easy home repair? I'd love to hear about it!

Come back soon, I've got a really exciting project I am working on that I'll post later for you lovelies! 

Whirlwind.

Happy New Year! I can hardly believe it is already 2012! I know this post is a few (ahem, five) days late, but better late than never, right?

This holiday season has surely felt like one big blur. It came after the busiest semester I have ever experienced- which I blame for how quickly Christmas and New Years snuck up on me :)

2011 was an amazing, stressful, lovely, frantic, tiresome, and memorable year. It was filled with good times, and certainly with difficult times, but it was by far the biggest year of my life.

Ever since I can remember I have always gone out and participated in a big ta-do for New Years Eve, and I have always had a blast, but this year the Hubbles and I decided to stay home. We relaxed in our pajamas, watched our favorite TV show (Big Bang Theory), and nibbled on snack foods.

(Nothing like pigging out under a warm, fluffy, comforter!)

Of course, we also watched the ball drop in Times Square- it just wouldn't be New Years Eve without it!

I don't really believe in resolutions as they tend to be thoughts bordering on fantasy wishes that end up forgotten a week after we make them. I do, however, always think it is a good idea to continue to better ourselves as people and to work on maintaining our happiness and peace of mind.

That being said, I "resolute" to try and stay positive during stressful times, remember that there are always reasons for why things happen, and to continue the gallant effort to maximize my patience (my husband surely appreciates this one).

I have also solemnly sworn off biting my fingernails. I am guilty. Sad, but true, friends. I firmly believe it is a sub-conscious outlet my body has picked up to deal with stress, or nervousness, ... or boredom. So I am putting it all out there onto the world wide web in hopes that I will actually stick to this particular "resolution". I feel it's a necessity.

I hope everyone has had a great start to their New Year! Any closet nail-biter's out there? Feel free to express yourself and allow me to feel a little less freak-ish! I'd love to hear other "resolutions" for the new year as well. Happy 2012!

Back home.

The trip around my home state has come to a close. It was so good to get together and share all of the love and happiness on Christmas with my family.

There is something so inevitably wonderful about coming home, though. It's good to be back.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have cookies, chocolate, and candy canes to eat while I try and clean/organize my house so that it resembles something similar to tidy.

I hope all of you had a wonderful Christmas!

A quick peek.

I promised a few pictures of our Christmas decorations, so here they are :)

As predicted, hubster did most of the leg work while I sat back and played dictator (kidding!). I love decorating, but I despise trying to put lights on the tree, so he graciously took care of that task for me! So sweet, that man of mine. 

Here's our little card and trinket center. We have received a few more cards since this picture, so it's filled out a bit! :)

Our stockings are hung on the (wall) with care!

This is one of my favorite decoration items. It's a snowman candle and looks like a normal, cute snowman:

But when you light him, it takes a nasty turn to the dark side.

Sort of sad, right? Haha, cracks me up!

We have lots of other things set up around the house, making our little home feel super festive and cozy.
Also, please excuse the poor quality of my camera phone pictures, I am working on getting a nicer camera- the one I want is only $700. All I need is 699 more dollars and that camera is mine, baby!

I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas and are able to spend it with good friends, family, and delicious food!

Season of giving.

     Today I finally got around to something I had been putting off for ages and ages. I somehow worked up the "energy" to take all of our many bags of items to donate and drove them over to the Salvation Army. I'm not sure what took me so long to do this. The trip literally took me 15 minutes total. We have had these trash bags filled with various household items just sitting in the house for months now, and I could never seem to muster up the energy to actually take and donate them. I am so glad that I took the time to do this today (you know what they say, better late than never... right?). While we are going through an especially frugal time in our household, I know there are so many others out there who can use these items that we no longer need. It felt great to donate all of these things so that others may benefit from their use. While I unloaded six (yes, I said six) trash bags filled with clothes, kitchen appliances, dishes, pots/pans, etc. I could feel the holiday spirit making it's big season premiere. I have had trouble truly getting into the "holiday mood" this year, and I think that is mostly due to pure exhaustion. By giving all of our unused items to charity it reminded me that this is what Christmas is all about. Giving. And let me tell you something,  it feels good! Yeah, bay-bay! Yes, I just used the term bay-bay, and yes- I realize it was awkward. What are you going to do?

Tune in soon for Christmas decorating 1.0 with the newlyweds. Should be fun! I think I will force him to allow cheesy Christmas music to be played at a superbly loud volume, while he decorates the tree. I will probably take on the vital (and truly challenging) role of kicking up my feet, taking too big bites of sugar cookies, and dictating what ornaments should be placed where- after all, the most important point of view is from the couch, am I right?

I kid, I kid.


...Mostly.

The times they are a-changin'.

 I mentioned earlier that the reason for the start of the new blog had to do with the many life changes that have taken place. Changes are inevitable, and they always surround our daily lives- whether we recognize them or not. We are always getting older, always learning, always needing or wanting something different/new/more. I am the type of person that has a hard time taking advantage of the quiet times. My life has recently felt like it is constantly on the move and I haven't really had a chance to slow things down and take a good look at my surroundings. I know that this is due in part to school, work, and my recent wedding, but these reasons are not totally to blame. It is so important to take a moment, heck even a few seconds, to just breathe deeply and think about all I am blessed with in this life. I find myself getting caught up in the stresses and difficulties and don't take the time to recognize all that I truly have. Gratitude. This is what I need to focus on. Instead of worrying about finances (which, like so many others, are tough right now), or trying to jam pack everything I can into the too short day, I need to be more cognizant of the wonderful gifts that have already been given to me.
     I overheard my uncle talking to my Dad while at my Nana's funeral almost two years ago and he said something that truly stuck with me. During the grief of losing their Mother, when everyone looked and felt overwhelmed, he said, "God will never give us more than we can handle". I'm not sure if he even knows that I heard him, and I am fairly positive he doesn't realize just how much it stayed with me. It was, in fact, the most comforting thing he could have said at that moment. During future stressful times I have gone back to those words on many occasions. They were there, whispering in my ear, when I was lost with what to do with my future after graduating college. They were there when my family made the huge move to Raleigh after my Dad was provided with an incredible job opportunity. They were there when I decided to quit working at the bank and move to be closer to my fiance'. They were there when I entered into graduate school and quickly felt overloaded by the immense amount of work I was facing. They were there when Matt and I got married in the middle of the semester. They were there when I was in a car accident. And, they are there with me now. Among other words of wisdom, these words have suffered and stressed with me, helping me get through whatever has been thrown my way. I have trust in God, and trust in the future, and I know that whatever else the world may have hidden up their sleeve, I will not be left alone.
     I am so blessed to have such a loving family, husband, and friends to help support me through tough times, no matter when or where they strike. Changes may come, but I will always be grateful for such an abundant amount of love and support from people that mean so much to me.
     I can't speak for everyone, but the importance of phrases like this in my life are immense. I'll leave with another phrase that I have gone back to, perhaps more than the previous statement. This one is from the Bible, but has been ingrained in my brain by my Mother ever since I was old enough to understand.
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." - Philippians 4:13
    This was not written to offend or contradict any one's beliefs- it's simply a personal statement. I am not someone who is typically very vocally open regarding my faith, but I felt it necessary to write about what has helped me through tough times. I believe it is good for the soul to write it all down when something is begging to be let out. I know that times are difficult for everyone right now. It is so easy to get down and depressed, especially surrounding the holiday season. It's important to take a moment to really stop and think about all you have to be grateful for, rather than what you have to be upset or stressed over. Doing this really helps me put everything into perspective, and helps me realize that things could be infinitely more difficult or challenging.

New beginnings.

     If you are reading this, then you probably already know of my previous blog, and may be thinking something along the lines of "What gives with the switch?". Well, friends, I decided it was time for a fresh start. So much has changed in my life since I started my first blog and I felt that I needed a new outlet to share all of my thoughts with you fine people.  So, let's get started!

     I recently got married to my best friend on October 8th (cheesy, I know, but so true!). It was an absolutely gorgeous day and I couldn't be happier! It was so wonderful to have all of our family and friends surrounding us with their love and support on such an amazing day!

     I also recently completed what was, by far, the hardest semester of school I have ever experienced. I wrote on my previous blog of how happy I am to be in school for something I feel so passionate about, something that will allow me to help so many people throughout my life. While this all remains true, I could not be more excited that this term is over! I wasn't sure that I could see the light at the end of the tunnel there for a while, but I just kept working, praying, stressing, panicking, working, working, working...... I think you get the point :) Next semester will also be a bear, but I am excited and ready for the challenge.

    I have also received the opportunity to teach at a well-known summer camp for the blind and visually impaired this summer! It is going to be in Brockport, NY and I will be teaching gymnastics and beep-baseball (think softball for the blind, only... not exactly- clear as mud?). I am so excited because physical activity is definitely a niche I have carved out within my passion for Orientation and Mobility. This will be an amazing opportunity!

    I'm thinking that this is enough in the update category for now, but rest assured- I'll be back for more. Wouldn't want to overwhelm anyone on the first post! So for the rest of the day I will be writing our thank you notes (I promise, they are coming!), making homemade pimento cheese, and possibly some homemade bread to go with it! Matthew and I will be decorating the house for Christmas tomorrow- more on that later!


(Shout-out to my wonderful Dad on his Birthday!! You're the best Dad a girl could ask for! Love you!)